


Tell Me You Love Me

by sunfl0wersmiles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Basically, Bokuaka - Freeform, Falling In Love, First Crush, First Kiss, Fluff, Fukurodani Academy, Love Confessions, M/M, Queerbating (kind of), Sweet Bokuto Koutarou, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23800723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunfl0wersmiles/pseuds/sunfl0wersmiles
Summary: Bokuto Koutaro wondered about the long way that had brought him there. He first thought he was "confused". Then he acknowledged he liked boys too. And now, there he was, falling in love with Akaashi over and over again.There was only one way to let the other boy know.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 8
Kudos: 121





	Tell Me You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Once again, I am here to clarify that the rest of the Fukurodani volleyball team is simply mentioned or they have one (1) dialogue, but they still deserved some credits in the tags, because they are all best boys.  
> Also, some words were originally written in italics. I still don't know how to do that here (or if it's possible), so I guess the words I wanted to put more emphasis into will be read as ordinary words. As an example, everytime Bokuto says "Akaashi", it's written in italics. So please remember to read it in Bokuto's special way every time he calls his name haha.  
> Happy reading.

When did this happen?

Bokuto traced his sight along the road, the long way left to his home unfolding right before his eyes. He felt a small lump in his throat that didn’t let him abandon the question and move on to a completely different topic, as he used to.

When did it start?

His steps were slow, and his fingers tapped his thighs impatiently. The shadow of his tall, bulky figure followed his body after every hesitant step. It was late, and the sun had just finished to set. There were still traces of orange and purple dashing through thick clouds like an absolutely awing postcard, but of course he didn’t see any of that. His eyes were fixed on the concrete beneath his shoes, or more accurately, on nothing at all. Just that question resonating over and over again inside his mind.

How?

His brain seemed to be working so hard, steam was about to come out of his ears. He felt the frustration, the dissatisfaction of really wanting something and not getting it eating him inside out. 

Then, his mind lingered through mixed memories, emphasizing what had brought up that crazy question he didn’t have the answer to. He saw a neck. Calves. He closed his eyes and tried to focus. He heard laughter and saw those hands, that chest and those long legs. He felt his heart shrinking inside his ribcage. Bringing those mental images up made him feel exposed and speechless.

Was he into boys too? Or most importantly,

When did he began to be into Akaashi?

Formulating the question made a long sigh drop from his mouth. Every day, when he headed home after long hours of practice, he’d think about the same thing. And it was that face that he saw last and said goodbye to every single day that had his mind working one hundred times more than it ever had in any math test he had ever done. Yet, he would never come to a solid answer, and to be honest, it was getting more and more frustrating. Some days he’d just go for the simple solution; he wasn’t really attracted to boys, it was just some athletic body admiration of some sort, some fondness for the same sex that was just getting to him too much. Appreciation. Other days he’d just say “Fuck it. Maybe I’m bisexual. What’s wrong with that?” But that wasn’t really the question that drove him crazy. It was the question that came right after the one he had just answered to. On the worst days, he’d just let out a massively prolonged sigh and say “Maybe I like Akaashi, just a small bit.” 

Like today.

“Maybe I like Akaashi, just a small bit.” He whispered to himself through clenched teeth, his cheeks changing their hue to a reddish one without him noticing at all. He looked up to the road again, sighed, and began jogging home. That should clear his mind.

After eating dinner, showering, getting into his pajamas and finally laying down in bed, eyes wide open and unwilling to go to sleep, it certainly didn’t. Neither did getting up the next morning, showering again, eating breakfast and brushing his teeth. He looked at the mirror eagerly, a frown hid behind the bedhead bangs that covered his forehead.

“Look at you, Koutarou” he said between one and another aggressive movement of his toothbrush. “It’s not that hard. You know, right?” his index pointed at himself in the mirror, furiously. “When? How? Do I even…?”

He dropped the toothbrush on the sink and covered his face with both of his palms.

“Why?!” 

He desperately wished he were on holidays; winter break, spring break, it really didn’t matter. He wished he didn’t have to go to school, just to see Akaashi’s marble-carved face, hear his low, sugar coated voice, and look deep into his dark eyes… 

Bokuto splashed water into his face bluffly, and sighed again. 

If only he were on holidays, he could calm himself down for a couple of days, maybe stop questioning his whole existence for 0.2 seconds and just try to figure things out. Having to see his teammate every day didn’t help at all. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t on holidays.

A bittersweet grin decorated his lips as he put what seemed an excessive amount of hair gel into his hands and then applied it to what was left of his gray hair, black strands sneaking between his fingers. When he was done, he washed his hands, tied his disastrous tie around his neck, and picked up his backpack. Another day of incredibly intense inner-debate.

As usual, he kept thinking about Akaashi as he walked to school. They weren’t on the same year, so he probably wouldn’t see him until noon, in volleyball practice, if he was lucky enough not to stumble across him in the hallways, or the bathrooms, or if the younger one didn’t come to get him to have lunch together. Odd. He’d never thought he would ever try to avoid his best friend as much as possible. But there he was, walking to school with impatient steps, his small brain trying to assemble the perfect plan not to get in Akaashi’s way in at least the next six hours.

His plan was surprisingly successful, so the day flowed easily, or at least that was what it looked like from the outside. In the inside, the same questions, memories and sensations were drowning Fukurodani volleyball team’s captain in his own sorrow. He wasn’t even in a good mood. Having to think so vigorously the entirety of the school day made him feel like ha was run over by a truck, at least three times. 

He certainly had never had this kind of thoughts before. Sure, he thought girls were cute, same as most of the boys his age. He’d never had a girlfriend though. And it wasn’t because they weren’t interested on him –in fact, Bokuto Koutarou was very popular amongst the girls-, but because he had never really been interested in any kind of relationship.

Now, starting to feel attracted to boys was a whole new level. Liking girls felt predetermined, like he never had to actually think about it, he just did. But realizing that there were new things catching his eye that he would have never thought about before, was, to begin with, completely mind-blowing. He’d catch himself following a stranger’s silhouette after he got off the bus, and maybe staring a bit too much at deodorant and perfume commercials (But to be honest, who could resist them?).  
Up to that point, he was comfortable enough. He knew that it was something different than anything he had experienced before, and he would just have to learn to embrace it. Looking back, it had been present since he was way younger, but he had never given it any importance. If he were to just label himself as bisexual and come out to his friends and family, he didn’t think it would be such a struggle. Essentially, being bi didn’t bring him any trouble. But when Akaashi stepped into the equation, the entirety of his life choices quivered. Being in love was way ahead from labeling his sexual orientation. That’s when all his plans crumbled and got to the same dead end. Especially if it was the first time ever he’d liked someone, in a romantic way.

Volleyball practice fell upon him inevitably, and so did seeing Akaashi’s slender body walking into the dressing rooms, in that particular rhythm that only Bokuto noticed; calm and soothing, but every step filled with energy.

He felt the tips of his ears burning as Akaashi said his name and waved his hand at him. After some awkward stuttering, he managed to correspond the gesture and smile at the younger boy. 

The latter proceeded to put his bag down and start undressing himself. What a day to be alive, Bokuto thought, not being able to look away from Akaashi’s silky skin. He was quickly reminded that he shouldn’t be that obvious, and that overall, he wasn’t a creep. The team captain heaved a sigh almost imperceptibly as he fixed his eyes on the wall in front of him and changed his own clothes. It was going to be a very, very, very long practice.

And it was.

Not even the whole extension of Bokuto’s burning passion for volleyball, his overwhelming energy and his killer spikes expected from an ace were able to drown that bitter feeling he’d been dragging around the whole day, tied to the lump on his throat and that empty-like sensation in his guts. At the beginning it was all fun and games; they warmed up and started with their regular series of blocks, spikes, receives, and dives. But then it all got worse and worse; Akaashi telling him that he should “do this instead of that”, that “hitting cross shots all the time wasn’t the best strategy even if they were strong enough to ripe the opponent’s arm off”, and that “he was looking kinda off today”, definitely sank him further into his own pond of doubt and neediness. After a while, he wasn’t even jumping at the right tempo, and he hit the net with some lame-looking spikes that even a middle schooler would criticize, several times. 

The worst part of it was that it wasn’t like other times. He wasn’t getting himself down because his serve landed off the court, or because he failed a really easy receive. He was just incredibly distracted. He kept looking at Akaashi’s ruffled black hair from the corner of his eye, his green eyes and the curve of his lips. He wasn’t even aware of what he was doing; it was like a total state of immersion, spacing and not knowing a single thing of what was going on in the court. But what his team did know, and especially their coach, was that Bokuto was playing terribly, and was most likely sinking down in his self-aware misery. He called for a time out, and grabbed Fukurodani’s ace by his arm.

“Hey, this is just practice. Why are you so down already?” He tried to sound as empathetic as he could, but everyone knew that trying to get Bokuto’s motivation back was one of the hardest feats for the Fukurodani volleyball team, and they couldn’t blame him.

The ace looked up to Yamiji, with that typical frown of his.

“I’m really distracted and I can’t even land a single spike… Just change me with Saru-kun, please!” He said, his jaw clenched and his fists closed tight. He really wasn’t feeling it. It wasn’t only feeling like a total disappointment, but a stupid disappointment that couldn’t separate his problems and was making the whole team pay for it.

The coach sighed and nodded slowly, letting him go to the bench and sit down for a bit. Akaashi, that had been watching the whole scene from afar, crossed his arms.

“Aren’t you gonna like… cheer him up or somethin’?” Konoha elbowed the younger boy lightly, with a grin on his face.

“This is just practice. If he needs some time to clear his mind then let him. He’s not essential right now.” Akaashi explained, not attempting to sound harsh, but just being sincere.

“Wow. Blunt.” The third year replied, as he tossed a ball to him easily. 

Akaashi jumped faintly and set the ball for Sarukui to spike. The ball smashed against the wooden floor at the other side of the court.

“Nice!” He heard Konoha praise the wing spiker, and then tried to focus on the next moves of the team.

He felt a strange sensation flowing around his body. It was itchy. He tried his best to resist it, but after a couple seconds, he gave in.

“Fine, I’m just going to check on him really quick.”

He left the court, making a small gesture at the coach that understood immediately where he was heading to. It seemed like he also heard Konoha laughing at the distance, but he was too far away already to confirm the information. Akaashi continued walking towards the bench with slow steps. Bokuto hadn’t noticed his teammate presence yet.

He had his eyes fixed to the wooden boards on the floor, his head between his hands. He didn’t look stressed, but he wasn’t getting any calmer either. His eyes were lost, as if he weren’t looking at anything at all. He held his head with his fingers pressed to his forehead, a small frown forming on his face. Even his spiked-up hairstyle seemed to be a bit messy today, threatening to fall down and obstruct Bokuto’s vision. He was thinking, the younger one pointed out to himself. But really thinking. What could bring his best friend to such extents?

“Bokuto-san” He said, trying to get the older one’s attention. It didn’t work. “Bokuto-san…” He repeated, but the team captain really had his head stuck in the clouds. 

Akaashi sat down beside him and took a couple of seconds to stare at him before calling out his name again. He knew Bokuto had been acting weird lately. The younger one had made a great job not pointing it out to his friend in the last three weeks approximately, because he wasn’t sure yet how to say it without getting Bokuto’s mood down, or exposing himself to be misunderstood about what he was meaning to ask. He had just stayed silent. However, he knew that this was definitely connected to Bokuto’s strange behavior. He had the same zooning out look in his eyes… Akaashi sighed lightly. Maybe it was the right time to ask. 

“Bokuto-san, are you-“ He put his hand on the older boy’s shoulder and began to talk, only to be interrupted by Bokuto’s surprised noises and red invading the captain’s ears and face. 

“A-Akaashi! I didn’t notice you here” He laughed, a nervous laugh that seemed more to calm himself down than to make fun of his ridiculous reaction. 

Akaashi looked at him silently, and finally changed the straight line on his lips to a very, very small smile.

The whole manual about Bokuto inside his head was practically doing backflips, running through enormous extensions of pages and pages trying to figure out what was the correct thing to say to the team captain in this situation to get him motivated again. But this time, he really didn’t have anything to say. He got to the end of the manual realizing that this wasn’t a problem of motivation, it was just that Bokuto’s mind was too busy thinking about something else that he couldn’t concentrate on the game. That way, he got frustrated that he wasn’t being efficient enough for his team, and began feeling down. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t focus on anything at all, leading him to hopelessly walk away from the court with a pout on his lips.

That was what Akaashi though.

Sincerely, it would be hundreds of times easier for him to say the correct thing if he knew what was bothering him so much. He decided to try again.

“Is there anything bothering you?” he asked, keeping his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder.

The older one looked at his hunter green eyes and then at his hand on his shoulder, and then back to his dazzling eyes, and then back to his hand. He felt like his face was on fire.

“Uh... I just-“

Bokuto tried his best to just spit some words out instead of staying silent looking at Akaashi as if he was a work of art, so he didn’t pay attention to the obvious explanation he gave.

“I can’t focus.”  
His eyes traced from Akaashi’s dark lashes down his face, and stopped at his lips. They were thin and rose-colored, even more tinted now that they had been running and jumping non-stop for about an hour and a half. He felt as if all his organs had suddenly disappeared and his guts were completely empty, only filled with his increasing heartbeat. His lips seemed as soft as petals, and were gently moisted. Bokuto felt the younger boy’s hand on his shoulder warmer and heavier than any other, his sense of touch thriving beneath the hand of his teammate. He stayed silent.

Akaashi threw away the information that the team captain had just given him; of course he knew Bokuto couldn’t concentrate. He had stopped talking after that, spacing again with those big, round golden irises fixed on Akaashi’s face. He was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, if not somewhat flustered. At any rate, he decided that whatever Bokuto had on his mind was really beyond him, and that if he wanted to get a clear explanation to help him, he would certainly not get it in an environment where everyone was yelling, jumping, running, and filled with the constant noise of the ball being hit violently and slammed against the wooden tiles.

“I know that already.” He finally said, in his usual soothing tone. He removed his hand from the older one’s shoulder afterwards.

Feeling Akaashi’s hand slip away from him, touching his back even the slightest bit before resting on the bench made Bokuto snap out of his fantasy and flounce away, making the distance between the two of them big enough for someone else to sit amidst them. He definitely had been staring too much. This was the reason why he had so eagerly tried to avoid Akaashi the whole day. Now not only his face was on fire, but his whole body was combusting. 

Akaashi continued talking before Bokuto could articulate any kind of lame excuse.

“Practice is almost over, so if you still don’t feel like coming back, then you can stay here and try to clear your mind. I know you hate it when this happens, but in the end, it’s the best thing you can do, I think.” 

The younger boy had stopped looking at Bokuto and his eyes were now following the ball indifferently. Bokuto stared at his breath-taking side profile, all kinds of feelings piling up inside him. 

“If you want, we can talk about it after practice.” He finished, and then returned his gaze to Bokuto, with a tender smile between his lips.

The older one couldn’t help but to nod automatically. He loved the way Akaashi figured him out so well without him saying anything at all… Almost like he could read his mind. But looking at that face, those deep green eyes and those lips he had been so frantically trying to avoid the last few days led him to his ultimate, final conclusion. Of course he knew what was bothering so much. And of course he had to let Akaashi know about it.

A big smile decorated his lips, gaining a surprised look from the always neutral and blank Akaashi.

“I feel kinda better now. What about a couple of tosses more before we get kicked out?”

All his energy and motivation had returned to him after planning his final act. He wasn’t any less nervous, but finally having a solid plan gave him chills. 

Akaashi wasn’t sure which part of his extremely limited speech had inspired Bokuto so much, but he tagged along and followed the captain back to the court.

“He did it.” Konoha whispered at Sarukui, who laughed and gave Akaashi a thumbs up as a congratulation for doing the impossible once again. Konoha smiled and acted as if he was wiping his tears away. 

What was left from daily practice ended in the blink of an eye. Bokuto’s good mood influenced the team to land their final spikes with smiles in their faces and serotonin running through their veins. The ace was still so energetic, that when training ended, he told his team to go change their clothes and that he would finish cleaning the court and rearranging their daily mess by himself. Akaashi offered to help, but there was something on Bokuto’s overdriven enthusiasm and his sincere smile that made him obey the captain’s orders and head to the changing rooms. 

Komi, who had just finished putting a clean t-shirt on, smiled at the younger boy and patted his back.

“Akaashi-kun, you sure are making miracles today.” 

The rest of the team chuckled lightly and continued minding their own business. Akaashi couldn’t help but to sketch out a smile between his lips. No one ever proposed themselves to do the cleaning, so it was nice that Bokuto, the one who always tried his hardest to get away without mopping the floor, was the one that was doing all the chores by himself for once. 

The boys left the gym one after the other, waving goodbyes at Bokuto, who eagerly transported the water containers back to their place, and giving a final smile to Akaashi, the responsible for such wonders. The second year didn’t mind. There was still a part of his mind that kept thinking about what could be bothering Bokuto so much, and what could he do to help him. He kept that in mind as he folded his clothes and put them into his bag.

On the other hand, Bokuto was a complete nervous wreck. Of course he had accepted the invitation to talk about his “problem” after practice without any hesitation, but maybe he had been too carried away by the image of Akaashi’s lips to actually realize what he had agreeing to. At the moment, he felt such a rush of adrenaline invading him that he actually thought he could confess his feelings to Akaashi. But could he? Was he going to make it? Was he going to survive? By the looks of it, thinking that he had been struggling to even mouth normal everyday sentences to Akaashi, would he really be able to tell him he liked him so goddamn much? He had finally given up and acknowledged that yes, he liked Akaashi. Not only he liked him, but he was in love with him. In love with his face, his hunter green eyes, his lavender smell, his reassuring words, the sound of his laughter, the fiddling of his fingers, his serene personality and his very observant behavior. He knew all of that by heart. But telling Akaashi terrified him. Apart from worrying about choosing the perfect words to articulate the flawless love confession Akaashi deserved, he was starting to think about something even worse. What if Akaashi rejected him? Bokuto let out a heavy sigh. 

Yes, that would be terrible too, he thought. But it wasn’t the time to think about that. He had already agreed to tell Akaashi what his problem was, so he couldn’t back away now. He could never. Fukurodani’s ace, the team captain, could never. That would be an incredibly coward thing to do, and Bokuto Koutarou couldn’t stand disappointing his best friend in such a childish way. He would have to face it. The mental image of Akaashi cheering him up thousands of times appeared on his mind again. He smiled. He was as nervous as he never had, but maybe it was okay. Bokuto knew Akaashi would understand, as he always did.

When Onaga waved goodbye to the team captain, he realized that he was the last one, apart from Akaashi, who seemed to be taking ages. Bokuto waved him back absently and got back to the changing rooms, after finally finishing all the cleaning and order that had to be done after every day’s training. It was a lot, and it would be even more if Yukie and Suzumeda didn’t take charge for most of it. He stuck his head through the changing room’s door, calling his best friend.

“Akaashi! You ain’t ready yet?” 

Akaashi lifted his face from a book he was holding and looked at Bokuto. He had already changed clothes and all his stuff was folded and arranged in perfect order inside his white bag. 

“I’m waiting for you, Bokuto-san. You haven’t changed clothes yet.” He explained, in his monotone and calm tone. 

“Oh!” The older one exclaimed, and looked down to his own sports uniform. He hadn’t realized about that. The latter let out a big laugh and then proceeded to take his t-shirt off. “Right. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Akaashi’s eyes lowered for just a couple seconds from Bokuto’s eyes to his broad shoulders and chest before getting back to his math textbook. 

“It’s okay.” He muttered.

Bokuto changed clothes quicker than ever. The anxiety creeping at the back of his mind made him keep glancing at Akaashi every two seconds, who seemed to be piercing the textbook with his eyes. Bokuto guessed that he probably had a test the next day or something of the sort.

“I’m ready!” He finally said, after he finished putting away his clothes inside his bag. His words echoed in the empty room. Suddenly, being alone with Akaashi felt totally different.

The younger one put away his book and stood up, walking towards the door. Bokuto stayed where he was standing in silence for a couple of seconds before he realized that Akaashi was expecting him to follow him. He jogged lightly to catch up with his friend.

The sun was about to set. He calculated that there was still half an hour left until sunset, by the way the clouds and the sky turned to a delicate shade of orange and the tips of the leaves falling to the ground let yellow light through them, as if they were falling drops of melted gold. The weather was nice; it was warm enough, but an agile breeze still managed to mess up Akaashi’s hair and make his jacket stick to his slender body. At least, the environment was delightful. Even romantic, if he thought about it. 

“Here.” Akaashi pointed to a small wooden bench placed outside of the gym. 

Sure, they were supposed to leave and lock the doors, but that didn’t mean they had to leave school. At this time of the day people could barely be seen walking around the schoolyard; just the school’s sports teams that left with their heavy bags on their shoulders after daily training and headed home. Like them. But they had taken long enough. Enough for everyone to be gone, remaining just the sunset and Fukurodani volleyball team’s iconic duo. 

Bokuto stuck to Akaashi’s words almost automatically and sat on the bench. It was small and worn out, but somehow it still felt comfortable. He tapped the empty space besides him with his hand for Akaashi to sit next to him. The latter smiled and followed Bokuto’s childish gestures.

He made a small pause, and then proceeded to talk.

“I- You’ve been acting strange lately.” He began, hesitation that could hardly ever be heard on Akaashi’s voice now present. “I’ve been meaning to ask you for a long time, but I wasn’t sure about how should I put it… Today seemed like a good time.”

As much as Akaashi always tried his best to figure out how Bokuto was feeling, what was he thinking about and what was he going to do next, he didn’t know everything. He wished he could, but lamely, he was no fortune teller. He was only human. 

Since he was a child, he’d always cared about how his friends felt. Adults often categorized him as a sensitive kid, empathetic and incredibly intelligent. He didn’t think about himself in such a big-headed way, but at least he could agree that he was a caring person. He didn’t except anything in return. Akaashi simply couldn’t help himself but to always be observant and attentive about other’s feelings.

What started almost as a hobby, figuring people out and trying to help them in any way he could, suddenly became useful when he entered high school. He wasn’t very social so his abilities had only been tested on some of his childhood friends, but when he joined Fukurodani’s volleyball team, he instantly realized that there was someone who it was going to be very helpful with.

He was able to decipher Bokuto better than anyone else in the team. Even better than some of the latter’s middle school friends, who still didn’t know what to do when Bokuto got into his bad mood. Akaashi knew, and to be honest, he really enjoyed it. He enjoyed being helpful for somebody else, not only to make Bokuto return to his normal, energetic state, but also to help the whole team by returning their ace, their star, back to his top tier form. 

That was the reason why, when all of a sudden, Bokuto began concentrating on things he didn’t know about, spacing, not listening to a word of what he was saying and what sometimes seemed as almost trying to run away from him, it really bemused him. He knew best not to push things out of his friend, but he really needed an answer. Not just because he wanted him to focus on volleyball practice to make the most out of it; he wanted Bokuto to feel good. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it was starting to frustrate him, even the smallest bit. Maybe he cared about Bokuto too much, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that at this point.

With that on mind, Akaashi fiddled with his fingers and turned his head to Bokuto, his mouth partly open. 

“What…” He paused, trying not to get all his affection to show on the sentence. “How do you feel?”

It was the most neutral thing he could come up with. He stared into his friend’s round eyes with a bit of restiveness sneaking into his gaze. Perhaps Akaashi acted like a cold person sometimes, but that definitely didn’t mean he felt that way.

Bokuto stared into his eyes tenderly. Turns out he wasn’t really thinking about what he would say next, what words his mouth should pronounce to make a perfect love confession. He just stared. He stared at Akaashi’s face, graced with the evening light, making his skin look silkier and his eyes change color to an almost brownish tone. They were shining. He looked at his lips again and took a deep breath. Damn, those lips didn’t let him think straight.

He wondered about the long way that had brought him to that exact place, that bench, that day, that perfect sunset. He first thought he was confused. Oh, what a stupid phase that had been. Then he acknowledged he liked boys too. It had been a small step, but it had definitely pushed him forward to take a decision. And now, there he was, realizing and falling in love with Akaashi over and over again. He finally understood that if it hadn’t been for Akaashi, he would probably have realized about all of this way later. Akaashi had been the trigger. Now he really knew how love felt. And he didn’t care if Akaashi was a boy. The warm, cozy sensation inside his chest was the same.

“I am in love.” He said, without thinking about it twice. The words actually sounded nice inside his mind for a couple or seconds.

“Oh.” 

Akaashi looked away and gazed at his own fingers. He fiddled with them once again, but this time he really had no clue what to say next. He suddenly felt like the sunset in front of him wasn’t as beautiful, and shivers were sent down his spine because of the breeze. Although he had enjoyed it only a few minutes ago, now it made him feel cold.

Bokuto stared at the younger one as if he would somehow be able to figure it all out just by that. But there was something different on his expression now. His eyebrows had furrowed almost imperceptibly, and his eyes seemed blank. Was he… disappointed?

Oh. 

He had messed up. Of course he hadn’t been clear enough. Bokuto felt all the self-hatred and frustration crawling back to him once again. He ruined a moment that was supposed to be perfect… But he wasn’t going to be beaten down this easily. Not this time.

“… With you. I love you, Akaashi.” He whispered, the words barely coming out from his mouth with his last breath. They sounded like they were coming directly from his heart, and not his throat.

He gulped. He did it. There was absolutely no turning back now. But he had finally let it out. He felt a whole wave of relief hit him out of the blue, making the team captain feel like he was about to faint. He looked at Akaashi firmly, his round owl-like eyes as big as plates. Watching the other boy’s reaction made him shiver. 

Akaashi looked up from his hands almost immediately. He didn’t look at Bokuto at first, but he looked straight forward, beyond the schoolyard, the sunset and the horizon. His face had changed in such a noticeable way that anyone who knew him would be surprised he was able to reproduce that kind of facial expression. After a couple seconds, he straightened his back, and gazed at Bokuto. 

He looked sweet. That was the only adjective his usually so occupied brain could find at a moment as crucial as that. Candied sunlight caressed the silhouette of his face, highlighting the warm color of his irises, his big mouth and a couple of hair strands that had managed to escape his spiked hairstyle to just lay lightly on his forehead. His shoulders were relaxed, making a pleasant curve out of his broad muscles, covered by his white jacket. His right hand was still placed in the small portion of the bench that was left, separating the two of them. 

He tried to smile for a second, but Akaashi could tell he was too nervous to actually keep the curve on his lips, so he conformed to a small, tender grin. 

“I-I…” Bokuto began to stutter, panicking to find new words to verbalize what he felt. What kind of reaction was that? Was he going to say anything?

He was quickly silenced by the touch of Akaashi’s lips being pressed to his’.

It was a moment that as much as he tried to, he would never be able to accurately describe. The first couple of seconds, he didn’t even realize what was going on. He had completely froze, his muscles tensing up and his hand, which was resting in the bench, clenched up into a nervous fist. 

Then, he let go. He closed his eyes, blessed by the sight of Akaashi being so close to him, and kissed him back. There was no explanation needed. He felt relief, real relief. And more than that, he felt passion, something so overwhelming that he barely could resist from pulling the younger boy closer. Fondness. Devotion. 

Akaashi’s lips felt exactly as he expected to. He had no words for it, but Bokuto was one hundred percent sure they did. 

It was barely more than five seconds long. Akaashi pulled away, a look on his face that Bokuto had never seen before. His cheeks were rose-tinted, same as the tips of his ears. He was sure he had never seen him blushing like that before. His green eyes, they were glistening. The older boy lowered his gaze again to look at his lips. Feeling Akaashi that close gave him goosebumps. He could feel his quickened breath against his skin. Bokuto gulped before he kissed him again.

This time, his empty hand went up and held Akaashi’s face tenderly. The latter’s hand flew to reach Bokuto’s forearm and hold him tight, indirectly pulling him closer into the kiss.  
They weren’t nervous. There was no one around; just them, their lips clasped together and the sunset brushing them with warm, orange sunlight. 

A longer, fonder kiss. All the relief coming out from both hearts for being corresponded collided in a kiss overflowing with emotion. It wasn’t a perfect one; Bokuto was too gruff sometimes and Akaashi could barely fight the stiffness of his movements, but somehow, they made it perfect. It was the brush of Akaashi’s bangs on the older boy’s forehead, their noses pressing gently against the other one’s cheek, and the way their lips still managed to flow together that enthralled them both into one of the most enveloping sensations. 

When they pulled away, both of their faces were reddish, especially Bokuto, who’s skin had a lighter color than Akaashi’s. He didn’t mind at all. As long as he could kiss Akaashi like that, Bokuto couldn’t care less about his face blushing completely. 

Akaashi took a couple of seconds to try to even his breath. Right after he heard those words fall out of Bokuto’s lips, he had become full instinct. So long. He had been waiting for this moment so, so long, and he never thought it would be like that. He didn’t even think it would actually happen, but it did. He managed to put together enough air to speak his mind. 

“It’s mutual,” Akaashi finally muttered, his face still close to the older boy. “I like you, Bokuto-san.” 

Bokuto muffled a laugh, before bursting into laughter. He held Akaashi’s hand between his and pulled him into a hug.

“Akaashi! I was so nervous! Can you imagine confessing to your kouhai?” He laughed again, wrapping both of his arms around the younger boy. “And don’t call me like that, silly.”

Akaashi smiled, which then turned into a chuckle, and then finally turned into laughter. He was so happy, he wasn’t even sure what he was laughing about. He wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s waist and rested his head on his shoulder. It felt warm and cozy. 

“Okay, Bokuto.” He smiled. He didn’t feel like calling him by his first name yet, but there was something inside his chest that told him he would, eventually. 

They stayed in that small bench until the sun finished to set. Turns out the location ended up to be pretty romantic. The older one held Akaashi’s hand lightly, and the latter fiddled with Bokuto’s fingers instead of his own. It was silent and peaceful, but their hearts felt full. 

Bokuto smiled. Out of every right choice he had done in his life, over every killer spike he had landed and all the matches they had won, this had definitely been his biggest victory. 

And when he walked home that day, his steps slow, and his fingers tapping his thighs as he always did, he thought about Akaashi over and over again. But this time it was different. He wasn’t frustrated, filled with questions or trapped in a dilemma. He was serene, still feeling the tone of Akaashi’s soothing voice when he said goodbye rumbling inside his eardrums. He felt complete.

He smiled to himself and jogged home.


End file.
